Paul's frustrations

I know that I have been ignoring this blog for the past few months and there are good reasons for it. First of all I didn’t know what to write anymore, because I was so emotionally, mentally, and spiritually drained. I needed to hide out for a little while to have some time for myself and God. I needed and still need a break from ministry, because I was on the verge of a huge burnout. I am moving in a good direction at this point, and I’m excited to see what is in store for me. Another big reason was that I didn’t just want to put political opinions or denominational rants on here. There may be some, but I don’t want to get too involved with that. Some of the denominational rants hit a little too close to home for me and I am deliberately trying to be careful here. I’m trying. They will probably come out of me sometimes, but I really just want to put ideas about scripture on here. Mostly what I want to write about is what hits my brain when I open the Bible in the morning. Besides, that’s the stuff I get excited about.

All that being stated, one of the topics that I kept coming across after I graduated is the topic of the Universal Church and the Body of Christ. I decided to read Philippians a few months ago and I noticed that it’s full of Paul’s frustrations. This letter is all about working together as a Body of Christ. At the beginning of the letter it is evident that he’s shaking his head and trying bravely to be positive,

What does it matter? Just this, that Christ is proclaimed in every way, whether out of false motives or true, and in that I rejoice. Philippians 1:18

Sometimes I think we fantasize that Paul lives in a Disney movie and that he’s just a great guy and nothing ever bothers him. He lives in chains, converts Roman guards, and does it all while all the birds are singing and skipping through the ancient world. But that is not the case at all. This verse in particular contains a tone of resignation in my opinion. It’s as if he’s throwing his hands in the air and desperately trying to be positive. After all, in the previous verse he informs the reader that some proclaim Christ, ‘out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but intending to increase my suffering in my imprisonment’. Now this is not to say that Christians try to make other Christians’ lives miserable, because that is another argument on another blog. However, it is to say that Paul is really suffering at the hands of his fellow ‘family’ members and he’s trying to be the bigger person.

I know firsthand how complicated the Christian Church is today. I am a Baptist after all, and we definitely know how to complicate things. I think that this verse and the context of it just makes Paul more real to me and it gives me hope. Because if Paul could find comfort, then maybe I can too.